Ayame's Bizarre Holiday
by SpookyNoodles
Summary: In this sequel to my other unpopular fanfiction, the Akatsuki drags Ayame out on a vacation, where zany adventures, revenge trips, coughing fits, and family battles ensue! R&R, kthx.


Ayame's Bizarre Holiday

Sequel to AN:AtCN

Rating: T for language, mild sexuality (OH TEH NOES!), violence and other stuff.

Author: Rika Hachigawa (formerly known as chibitachiweasel)

_It's been six months since we last left our maid, Ayame. What has happened between Tobi and her? Has her life improved? And as a bonus, we finally learn her last name! So let the fun begin!_

"Aya-chaaan!!" called Tobi from the dining room in the Akatsuki lair. Ayame smiled and walked in to greet him.

"Yes, Tobi-Sama?" she asked.

"Tobi wants to do something fuuuuuun for dinner tonight!" he said. Ayame thought on that for a moment. She was eager to please him, even though six months had passed since their first and only conscious kiss.

"Hmm...I can't think of anyth-"

"Aya-Chan, you like playing with fire, right?" asked Deidara, popping in.

"Aya-Chan, did you clean the bathroom?"

"Aya-Chan, please remember to water the hydrangea!"

"Aya-Chan, my sacrificial altar is dirty! Clean it!"

"Aya-Chan, the litterbox..."

"Aya-Chan, Kisame messed up the hallway again, and destroyed one of the portraits-"

"GAH!! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!" Ayame shrieked. Tobi stared at her and gently touched her shoulder.

"Aya-Chan..."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!! HAHA!! Why would I need someone to make me feel better?! I feel FINE!!" she said in a hysterical tone. Tobi watched her. She was still...well..not an eyesore...but she looked so frazzled. Her hair was frizzy, and the bags under her eyes were ridiculously dark. Her shoulders seemed to sag with the weight of the hideout, and then Tobi had just requested something fun for dinner. He suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Poor Ayame! Having to slave after these villains all day with no break until about eleven thirty at night, when she slept. As he watched her, she began to twitch.

"WHAT ARE _YOU _STARING AT, LOLLIPOP-BOY?!" she screeched. Tobi slammed his fist down on the table.

"AYAME-SAN! Please calm down!" he said, immediately changing his harsh tone. Ayame sat down and everyone moved a few inches away from her.

"Aya-Chan is overworked," he said.

"I-I-I'm n-n-n-n-n-not overworked!! Ahahahaha!! What are you saying, Tobi-Sama? I loooooove my job!" she said in an octave higher than her previous fit of hysteria. Tobi began to inch away from the girl, and finally Pain stepped forward.

"Kagayuku Ayame-San, by order of the Akatsuki Leader, you are to take a freakin' vacation. Am I clear young lady?" he said firmly.

"But...but..." she stuttered.

A feral snarl ripped out from the leader's throat and Ayame quailed.

"I understand sir!" she squeaked. Tobi suddenly spoke.

"Your last name is Kagayuku?" he asked.

"Um...I thought everyone knew that," she said.

"No, the stupid author never mentioned it in the last story," he responded. Ayame frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," he said quickly," But, Aya-Chan really does need a vacation. She is too stressed."

Pain nodded in agreement. Konan suddenly spoke up.

"Perhaps we ALL need a break," she said, "our targets' suspicions have been aroused, and their villages are taking extreme measures to protect them. Maybe if we lie low for a while, they'll ease up on security." The others remained quiet, thinking about this. A vacation would be nice, and perhaps Konan was right. But they were worried about having to abandon the hideout.

"When the cat's away, the rodents will play," said Kakuzu.

"Clichés don't exactly make for a deep conversation," snorted Ayame, but she agreed with Kakuzu. What if some weird traveler decided to stop at the base, somehow manage to get in, and eat all of the food? What a pain in the ass that would be! And Ayame would have to go and replace all of it!

"Kaku-Chan-"

"Aya-Chan, don't call me that," he said.

"Kakuzu-San, aren't you worried about how detrimental this will be to our limited funds?"

"Money is important...much more important than her mental health," he said. Ayame wasn't surprised by this statement.

"Whatever you guys decide on, let me kno-"

"Don't try to give us that attitude young lady. You're staying right here until we finish," said Pain as he grabbed a hold of the back of Ayame's dress and sat her back down.

"Alright. We have to pick somewhere to go-"

"We'll vote!"

"Naturally. And Kakuzu, your vote won't count because you're a parsimonious jerk." Ayame glanced at Tobi and gave out a small sigh.

"So! All in favor of going to...uhh...Ne..ko..gakure?"

"WHAT?!" yelped Ayame in confusion.

"Nekogakure! It's a plot tool that the author threw in because she's too lazy to think up a canon village. Apparently, it's near Yukigakure. How's that?"

"Ok," said Konan.

"Yup," said Kisame.

"Hn," said Itachi.(I think that means yes...)

"Sure, why not?" said Zetsu.

"Wh-hoo!! Snow bombs!" said Deidara enthusiastically.

"No-"

"Kakuzu, what did I tell you?" asked Pain sharply.

"Ugh.."

"F--- YEAH!" crowed Hidan.

"Fiine," said Ayame, deciding to give in at last. Tobi danced her around.

"Vacation, vacation!!! Let's have fun, okay Aya-Chan?" he said excitedly. Ayame merely nodded.

"So we'll stay at one of their nicer inns, yeah?" asked Deidara.

"Of course."

Kakuzu began to writhe on the floor.

"Onsen??" asked Konan, blatantly ignoring him.

"Yeah, I guess. They have a nice hot spring there." Itachi suddenly tugged on Ayame's arm, asking her if she could speak with him in his silent Itachi-Speak. She stood up, as the leader was now busy with the requests of others, and followed him into the hallway.

"Ayame-San, you are looking as though it is not only your stress that makes you sad. What is bothering you?" he asked.

"Uh...nothing," she said tactlessly. Itachi pulled her into the hall closet.

"Aya-Chan, are you still in love with Tobi-kun?"

"..."

"Well?"

"Yeah," she said flatly. Itachi breathed in and out slowly, thinking.

"Ayame-San, perhaps you should try to make the first move," he said. Ayame stared at him.

"Um...n-"

"Why is Aya-Chan in the closet with Itachi-San? Is Aya-Chan in love with him now?" asked Tobi suddenly barging in. Itachi shook his head and pushed him in, closing the door as he left the two to talk.

"Aya-Chan...what is wrong?"

"Noooothin'," she said as she averted her eyes. Tobi moved forward and took her chin in his hand. As he tilted her face up, he noticed Ayame's eyes filled with confusion.

"Does Aya-Chan still love Tobi?" he asked.

"Love is forever," she said," Only lust is temporary."

"Aya-Chan is doing the cryptic thing again. But the eyes are new," he said, his smile concealed behind his mask. He told no lies; Ayame's eyes had done the spooky light loss thing, but this time, her pupils returned as catlike slits. She can do this because her life exists through anime, and the scary eyes are obligatory.

"Aya-Chan, would you like to share a room with me?" he asked mischievously. Ayame stared at him in shock and then began to laugh.

"Pffftahahahahaha!!! Tobi-San is so very funny with his jokes! Kyaaahhyahyahyahyahya!"

"I wasn't joking," he said. Ayame's laughter ceased immediately.

"Okay then! It's settled! Aya-Chan will room with Tobi, to help with their random, but budding romance!" declared Itachi from outside the closet.

"Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? HMMM?"

"Stop whining and get your things, Deidara-San."

So, that's the first chapter! Can things get anymore stupid and plotless?

DAMN RIGHT THEY CAN!!!

Thank you very much for reading, and please leave a comment!


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